What the hell happened to this?!

I had forgotten I had this.

Reading it is sort of depressing. I can't even find my novel much less would I do anything with it.

I have the urge to write but nothing comes out. It feels like brilliance inside my veins but only trickles incoherently when I begin to type. My mind has been my own worst enemy for the past few years. I'm no longer certain of more than a handful of things. I have been trying to outlast this overcast shadow that looms above my head, taunting me....sometimes even getting ahead of me. I can't articulate to anyone the things I have been through, the things I have felt, the little demons that lurk along the bottom of the well I try to bottle up.

It all sounds kind of dismal and bleak, but it really isn't. Because, you see, I'm still waiting. For what, yet another uncertainty because I can't answer that.

I'm just waiting.

I wanna live, I wanna love, but it's a long, hard road out of hell......



♥ ~B